Best Foot Forward*

A new week for SHWFC members offered no respite from the cold snap that has held sway over almost all of our sessions this year Mid-February and though it’s not snowing or raining the chilly conditions mean we must layer up or seize up Thirty Four braved the weather to enjoy the unique camaraderie of a Monday morning at Ruskin Sports Village Slightly lower numbers than of late but a group of players determined to make the most of the morning’s chance to play

The teams were;

Pink - Mika, Robin, Tony W, Dave Amazon and Little John

Black - Andy Man, Jenkinson, Haggis, Chopper and Chris 4G

Avid readers will have spotted that this was a 5 -a- side contest with two evenly matched sides intent on spraying the ball around in honest attacking endeavour Pink were solid in defence blessed with Mika and Amazon as keepers Their defensive strength ensured the few chances they created were converted with great purpose Black in contrast wasted the chances they created That they couldn’t score despite producing 3 one on one situations speaks volumes As Ref Jeff Betty put it - “they wouldn’t have scored if they were still playing now!” Both sides responded well to the ‘not walking’ instruction and half time reminder demonstration provided The Pink overcoming Black with 2 goals to nil

Goals by Tony and Amazon the clinical and decisive difference Fine game decided by fine goals

The remaining players were whipped into shape in their sixes and lined up for team photos in the following order;

Lemon - Sheila, McSpeed, Harry the Hatchet, Phil the Moss, Les H and Phil the Power

Sky - Citeh Geoff, Joe the Ghost, Les Meldrew, Eileen, Donal and PaulF

Orange - Tom Stretch, Lord Rainford, Phil the Cat, Margaret, Barry Wizz and Cockney Rebel

Purple - Tom Mc, Willo, Roger, Michelle Monday, Enoch and Steve Jones

Under the ever-authorative eye of Mr O’Hooligan Lemon proved a little too strong for a plucky Purple side that refused to be outshone Goals by Cockney Rebel and Tom Stretch looked to be enough for Lemon but Enoch grabbed a reply for Purple to freshen up the game Lemon added a third late in the piece to ease the remaining minutes Lemon 3-1 victors

Orange and Sky was a fabulous contest, decided by a solitary goal Orange endebted to Phil the Cat for their hard-earned win Plenty of end to end passages of play, Sky less of an attacking threat perhaps the deciding factor Orange took no chances in defence with some major clearances to Row Z by the Sussex Sweeper The 1-0 win for Orange set- up an intriguing final game with the Citrus Derby (Orange v Lemon) of the two unbeaten teams the highlight of the session

Purple clinched a 2-1 win over Sky with Eileen finding the net in the victory Enoch grabbed the Purple consolation again But Purple prevailed The stage was set for a real see-saw encounter with Orange v Lemon A zesty end to end game with loads of action Orange took the early lead thanks to Cockney Rebel who had a very impressive morning, always in the thick of the action Not Walking advice was offered to reign in the more enthusiastic of the players Often the desire to stop a swift opponent would entice a defender to stray into equally speedy action - both players guilty but who to single out for starting the foot race?

With 15 minutes remaining McSpeed latched on to a loose ball in midfield to level 1-1 Tom Stretch restored the Orange advantage with a fierce drive from some distance, too much power catching Harry the Hatchet off balance on his line after another poor clearance

2-1 to Orange but plenty of time left Lemon continued to probe for an equaliser Phil the Moss pounced to fire a drive that caught out Lord Rainford in the Orange net 2-2 and 10 minutes still to find a winner The pace picked up as both sides chased a goal, defences tightened and passes became shorter and safer no one wanted to gift their opponents any edge Margaret was unlucky to hit a post whilst McSpeed was inches wide at the opposite end

Play ended with some smart game management, honours even after a real contest

The session was observed by Julia Blackwell of Versus Arthritis Charity who was a guest for the morning She was impressed by the diversity of our membership and the high level of enthusiasm that was evident throughout There’s advice and support available online at www.versusarthritis.org In addition the Charity is hosting Back Health Day on Thursday 13th March at Manchester Central between 10:00 and 16:00 with expert chats, information and support services and activity taster sessions

The late withdrawal of a snakehipped birthday celebrant meant there was no cake in the Slipper Salon We can only hope normal service will be restored next Monday

Wednesday night’s Sutton SoccerDome session provided further examples of the Club’s growing reputation Twenty Four players plus Referees assembled to showcase their talents split in the usual manner between the indoor Sports Hall and outdoor AstroTurf wastes The Innards featured debutant Mike Green, who journeyed from across the Marshalls Cross Road dual carriageway to take part

The Outward Boulders 14 players under the gaze of Ref Jeff Betty Birchall served up a superb game, described by Football Manager Andy Man “as good a game as I’ve been involved in since I’ve been at the Club 7v7, Dead even, great passing and movement, solid defending with all 14 players contributing”

Ref Betty confirmed the game was a joy to referee with great respect from both teams

The Outward Bounders were;

White - Ian Hilton, Tom Stretch, Eileen, Subbuteo Dave, Andy Man, Chris 4G and Haggis

Red - Delano, Neil Stretch, Midweek Michelle, Jason, Martin Mc, Eamon and Simon

Nine goals after a thrilling game White shading the Red by 5 goals to 4

Haggis, Andy, Tom, Chris and Ian with the White goals whilst Jason, Simon, Neil plus an own goal conceded by Tom Stretch hit back for Red A special word for Simon who this weekend graduates from the Cubs to the Over 50s Have a great Birthday from all your friends at SHWFC

Meanwhile in sub-tropical indoor action the following teams met to ply their trade;

Yellow - Lord Rainford, Joe the Ghost, Citeh Geoff, Peter T and new boy Mike Green

Blue - Cockney Rebel, Steve the Honeyman, Phil the Cat, Grav and Disco Deggs

El Presidente wasted no time to get play underway and even less time to issue the first ‘let’s just slow things down’ reminder as both teams struggled initially to get to grips with a very lively ball There was a prolonged period of stalemate with both sides wasteful in front of goal There was a comic incident when one player’s squeaky shoes mimicked a sharp whistling noise As players hesitated El Presidente had to shout a denial ‘play on that wasn’t me!’ The first goal of the night took almost twenty minutes to arrive thanks to stout defences, last ditch keeper saves and wasteful shooting Deggs missed with a penalty, whilst several one on one chances were spurned Yellow eventually took the lead thanks to a Peter Teeling drive Joe added a second soon after, having finally found some composure in front of goal Yellow 2 goals ahead and starting to exert some control on the game Joe found the goal again as the break approached 3-0 Blue hit back on the stroke of half time Deggs converting a decent through ball from Cockney Rebel The Huyton Hitman was soon incapacitated by over-stretching in midfield (an unfamiliar area of the pitch for him)

Half time arrived 3-1 Yellow in front but set for a difficult start to the second period a man down (Deggs still struggling in the groin department)

In a move that might be unique to SHWFC, Lord Rainford volunteered to remove himself from the action until his opponent was fully restored So a period passed with both teams down to four Cockney Rebel was in difficulty too following a knee gah in the final first half action but soldiered on

Yellow ahead and starting brightly with a slight mobility advantage that developed as the game progressed Joe brought out a fine save from Phil the Cat Lord Rainford attempted his first Sussex Sweep of the night but was just off target Yellow putting great pressure on the Blue goal, bags of pressure but still only 3-1 Joe, with the entire goal to aim at, found only Phil the Cat’s nether regions with a sharp turn and drive, a great reaction save Peter Teeling made no mistake however, dispatching the rebound for 4-1 Yellow turned the screw with an excellent team goal, all 5 involved with Joe free to apply the finish 5-1

Yellow now firmly in command Blue a little jaded and struggling to compete

At the third time of asking Lord Rainford’s signature Sussex Sweep finally paid off with a shot that nestled in the far corner 6-1 Blue in disarray Eventually Phil the Cat poked a shot beyond Peter T in the Yellow goal, three shots repelled before the final decisive shot 6-2

The game was finished as a contest with 5 minutes remaining No further goals in the time left The final whistle and handshakes all round

The Boot Room media session was a rather tame affair with a uneventful Premier League taking precedence over the annual Madrid mauling of a lesser English team We look for cake to brighten the Monday morning post-match proceedings

Best Foot Forward* The Lost Trades (US folk/Americana trio evoking 60s/70s California folk scene)