Our Monday morning session at Ruskin Sports Village broke new ground with the visit of a budding Sports Journalist to witness at first hand the phenomenon that is Walking Football Europe’s fastest growing sport acessible to all ages, genders and abilities SHWFC has long been a welcoming environment for those seeking to stretch their legs and minds We’ve quite a tale to tell and the chance to ensure the next generation of sports journalist gets to see the game and have the opportunity to talk to players was too good to miss
The morning’s pleasant conditions ensured a decent turn out with thirty nine members strutting their stuff, after the obligatory warm up, selection sequence and photo opp
The eventual teams were;
Yellow - Liz (injury restored), McSpeed, Colin the Late, Eileen, Andy Man and Grazer
Sky - Les H, Amazon, Aldo, Tom Stretch, Lord Rainford, Kirsty and Michelle Monday
Purple - Citeh Geoff, Tom Derby, Phil the Cat, Wickie, Harry the Hatchet and Snakehips
Orange - Barry Wizz, Steve Honeyman, Donal, Margaret, Triallist and Brian
Pink - Enoch, Glen, Ashy, Tomo, Haggis, Julie and Charlie
Black - Les Meldrew, Gonzalo, Robin, Willo, Eamon, Roger and Phil the Moss
With El Presidente on media duties entertaining our visitor, the Refereeing duties were shared by Jeff Betty and Phil the Power The remaining game Black v Sky was a self regulated experiment with Gonzalo initially handling the Acme Thunderer Any questions regarding Gonzalo’s integrity were allayed as he witnessed a hat trick by Aldo and claimed a goal himself in a 3-1 win for Sky As the morning progressed Tom Stretch and Lord Rainford also took on the ‘thankless task’ as temporary man in the middle Regretably we don’t have any further information at this time about the two games that followed along the self certified route
In the Splendid Isolation clash of the Titans, or Orange v Yellow, as the morning’s stand alone clash became Phil Powered through an excellent match up with two teams determined to put their best feet forward Goals by Barry Wizz, Triallist with a rare brace of eye catching goals and two by Steve Honeyman ensured a deserved win Yellow fought throughout to stay in the contest with goals by McSpeed, Eileen and Andy Man In the end Orange had the greater fire power and won 5-3 Some good saves from Grazer another feature of the game
On Pitch One, Jeff Betty kept a tight hold on proceedings between Pink and Purple The game was finally decided by a rare goal by Wickie, who ventured forward to seal a narrow 1-0 victory for his bruisers Enoch limped out of the game early in the piece with recurring knee knack only to return minutes later with a secure-looking knee support
In game two, Black swamped Pink by five goals to one Pink relying heavily on the industry of Tomo, Glen and Julie were sorely under powered by Black bursting with movement and know how Goals by Gonzalo 2, Willo 2 and Eamon secured the one-sided victory Enoch overcame his troubles to grab the Pink consolation
In the final tie, Black reprised their power game to put Purple to the sword, but had to settle for just four goals Phil Moss 2, Gonzalo and Eamon on target for Black with Purple creditably sticking to the task thanks to goals by Wickie and Phil the Cat 4-2 the final score
Whilst generally we select fairly even sides, the very overwhelming incidence of close score lines would suggest that is true, we should acknowledge that doesn’t always work out If Refereeing is often described as ‘the thankless task’ Selecting fairly balanced teams is a true leap in to the dark Once upon a time the Club used the fabled ‘Moneyball’ algorithm to scientifically divide up players into small groups In time that was found to be occasionally faulty Good intentions and random chance were the ingredients that could easily be bamboozled with alarming consequences We rely on the best players with superior technique and conditioning to carry those less blessed with them But of course it doesn’t always work out in the white heat of a Walking Football session We do try to react when it becomes obvious that there’s a disparity between teams But isnt always reflected in the games If anyone has a fool proof formula please share it No one has the monopoly on good ideas
There was a break from tradition in the Slipper Salon with Glen providing a box of the finest Turkish Delight instead of cake for the post match celebrations Tom Stretch was perplexed with the lack of cake, others very pleased with the exotic alternative A mental note has been made to supply Barra Brith on an experimental basis to test the members resolve
Wednesday night’s Sutton SoccerDome session presented the usual logistical challenge for those selected teams for the Outer Limits As usual the Innards casually made their way to the Sports Hall, in their slippers and smoking jackets, safe in the knowledge they’d enjoy an hour’s trouble free frippery The usual challenge of being able to provide some sort of accurate body count to help those arranging the AstroTurf pitches, meant for another week we had to calculate the game permutations of 18 or 19 or possibly 20 players
In the end adjusting the pitch to accommodate a 9 a side match was the answer Quite what the question was is another matter
The Outer Limits teams were;
Blue - Lord Rainford, Deggs, Peter T, Gonzalo, Roger, Haggis, Subbuteo’s Dave, Benno and Grav
Red - Deano, Darron, Wickie, Andy Man, Midweek Michelle, Eileen, Graham, Tom Stretch and Ian Hilton
The David Coote Tribute Act was El Presidente, who adopted a get-tough policy on running and errant tackling from the get-go Only one VAR incident to interrupt the game when Gonzalo crashed a shot along the line, onto a post and away to safety No Goal No Dispute No problem Do not collect £200
Red produced an early goal finished by Tom Stretch an ominous sign for what lay ahead? A minute gone 1-0 to Red
Following on from the bright start with Blue corralled into their defensive areas unable to find a telling pass forward Red operating a high pressing line to box their opponents in to positions where they could offer no threat to the Blue goal
Red linked particularly well with Deano, Tom Stretch, Andy Man and Darron a constant threat Wickie had a superb night in the heart of the Red defence with Eileen an ever willing outlet and Graham Kidd providing a steadying role Midweek Michelle and Ian Hilton (fine hotels) showed plenty of willingness to move forward to press home the advantage
In sharp contrast Blue were less cohesive, working on scraps rather than building patiently
Gonzalo had a night to forget, unable to find his goalden touch, Deggs and Haggis struggled too Grav, Peter T and Benno worked hard but couldn’t quite match the accuracy of the Red
Gonzalo got on the end of a some good passing, turned well but shot agonisingly wide After 15 entertaining minutes, Darron at the other end found the net to double the Red’s advantage, seizing a defensive blunder for 2-0 Gonzalo hit the bar soon after Red rallying but once more inaccurate Michelle added a third goal following a corner that was claimed as a dead kick by a member of the Landed Gentry Sadly the eventual clearance was picked off for the simplest of finishes 3-0 As half time approached another defensive blunder gave Deano the chance to add the fourth
A simple reshuffle of resources for the second half saw Haggis swap with Andy Man Blue gaining an additional striker in exchange for Red being able to strengthen their defence and midfield The move paid immediate dividends with the contest much more balanced Red with a more workman like shape carried a far greater threat Blue remained a constant power as shown when a fifth goal was added by Haggis His shot found the far corner a pass rather than power drive 5-0 Blue firmly on top
Midweek Michelle saved from Gonzalo and then Graham to preserve the advantage The sixth goal was another pantomime of defensive errors Darron almost embarrassed to score 6-0 Gonzalo finally got some reward for his efforts with the Blue consolation 6-1 Soon after Subbuteo’s Dave Martland found the corner of the net for Blue’s second 6-2 Time elapsed with Red continuing to stroke the ball around whilst Blue valiantly battled to restrict their progress 6-2 the final score
The Innards carpet slipper extravaganza was a thrilling 7-7 draw The game punctuated by some good goals
Teams ‘selected’ were;
Orange - Lee Thomo, Steve Honeyman, Gaz, Les H and Joe the Ghost
Yellow - Steve C, Phil the Cat, Citeh Geoff, Les Meldrew and Chris 4G
Goal scorers were Gaz 3, Steve Honeyman 3 and Lee for Orange with the Yellow reply courtesy of Citeh Geoff, Chris 4G, Phil the Cat and Steve Carine with 4 Ref Betty reported a good contest with generally good sportsmanship but for one unfortunate incident when some toys were thrown from a pram No toys were damaged during this unfortunate episode
A good week for quality Walking Football underlining what is good about the game and our Club, demonstrating how just a little fine tuning can produce marvellous entertaining games Same again next week please!
Couldn’t Get It Right* - Climax Blues Band (1977 UK number 10 hit)
Great read.Thanks,