December 1963*

Another new month, with new rules (in fact just a few little tweaks only) New faces too But not any old Month, suddenly with Easter eggs jostling for shop shelf, December brings Christmas, Goodwill to all and our annual Turks Head night out

As most avid readers will know we do like to reference our weekly Blog with a song title This week’s effort is no different except rather than looking at titles that are inspired by the week’s sessions, for once we’re doing something a little different

December ‘63 was a lifetime away so much was different in Britain but football (ah bloody hell) that wasn’t quite so removed from 2024

Fixtures for Saturday 7th December 1963 included

A Division Four tester for travelling fans, with diehard Darlington fans visiting mighty Brighton with only a 2-0 defeat to cheer them on their 526 mile round trip home

The old First Division included Sheffield Wednesday 1 nil victors over Blackpool; Fulham crushing Wolves 4-1, Birmingham humbling West Ham 2-1, whilst Ipswich and Blackburn bored each other rigid nil all Sheffield United Blades were blunted by West Brom 2-0 at the Hawthorns Whilst Bolton were no match for Spurs losing 3-1 at Burnden Park Burnley and Forest was a 1-1 draw Leicester (with Jamie Vardy not even ready to warm up) were held by Villa in another scoreless encounter And what of our ‘local favourites?

Well Arsenal were held at Highbury by Liverpool (nothing new there then) Everton were held at Goodson, visiting Chelsea grabbing a point in a 1-1 draw Man United dismissed Stoke City with a 5-2 with four goals by Denis Law and an early David Herd goal Ritchie & Dobing for Stoke

Note to younger readers there was football before 1992 though mostly in black and white

Manchester’s other Club (in those pre-George Best days - talking of Clubs) managed to take full points (2) from a visit to mighty Leyton Orient Funny to think they’ll soon be facing each other again once those charges are enacted

Chester lost a FA Cup tie that same day, whilst Wigan Athletic were still some years away from joining the Football League

Our thanks for December, 1963 (Oh What A Night)* - Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons Oh What A Night indeed!

Monday morning’s Ruskin Sports Village session was conducted in a persistent drizzle that failed to dampen spirits Thirty Eight members battled the warm up and then the application of bibs to distinguish the wheat from the er ..other wheat

The teams were;

Purple - Michelle Monday, Steve Jones, Amazon, Andy Man, Chopper and Les Meldrew

Sky - Robin, Mika, Roger, Eamon, Harry the Hatchet and Phil the Power

Pink - Lord Rainford, Julie, Chris Gilmore (quite a debut), Tomo, Colin the Late and Haggis

Orange - Jim, McSpeed, Tom Stretch, Little John (still emphasising height difference) Eileen and Chris K

Black - Snakehips, Glen, PaulF, Kirsty, Grav, Liz, Grazer and Gonzalo

Yellow - Ashy, Les H, Brian, Aldo, Enoch and Barry Wizz

Games were held under the latest variation of the Marquis of Queensbury Rules adapted by our crack team of vested interests in your safety, enjoyment, fun and frolics The Referees for the day included Head Judge Herr Betty of Berlin, El Presidente (put in his place by the rash action taken by South Korean President this week) and our Football Manager Andy Man Our thanks for information that forms the skeleton of this Blog

Orange and Lemon met again in the Citrus Set To, a close fought game throughout with both sides knocking the ball about to great effect Lemon took a 3-0 lead utilising their extra player Though McSpeed was a constant threat for Orange, finishing deficiencies and smart defending denied Orange Brian swapped sides at the break to address the numerical disadvantage There was an immediate pay off with two unanswered goals to make it 3-2 Aldo was on fine scoring form and restored the Lemon 2 goal lead 4-2

Chris Kelsall claimed a controversial goal that raised the temperature and blood pressure of some before Mike McSpeed finally had the goal his effort deserved 5-4 the final score Lemon the victors thanks to goals by Aldo 3, Barry and Brian with Tom, McSpeed and Chris Kelsall 2 in reply Herr Betty’s final words -play to the whistle!

Purple’s attempt to turn Blue Sky a darker shade of blue came undone on Pitch 3 in a fine game reported by our Football Manager Prior to the off Roger and Andy Man switched sides in a bold move to redress a potential imbalance Sky prevailed in no small part due to the excellence of keeper Harry The Hatchet Williams (as we already had Chopper Williams hence the legend of The Hatchet was born) Special mention to Mika who contributed another good box to box show Michelle Monday was her usual efficient self with great link up passing Whilst other mention goes out to Chopper who put in another steady shift with controlled accurate distribution to go with his defensive prowess Sky taking the honours 3-1 but a compelling performance from both sides

Pink played Black with Gonzalo hitting an opener within 30 seconds of the whistle Glen picked off ‘probably the worse backpass in recent history’ to make it 2-0 Gonzalo claimed the third within seconds for 3-0 The chance to redress the mobility imbalance was temporarily held off when debutant Chris Gilmore fired home for 3-1 Grazer produced a complete performance with a string of good blocks and some unconventional dives and diversions Glen fired his second for 4-1 just before the interval The interval signalled change with Paul Findlow and Grav switching in a cash plus deal with El Presidente stuffing his wallet with yet further Yankee Dollars

The second stanza was a much closer contest Pink on top thanks in no small way to the untimely departure of Snakehips for a unexplained comfort break Black, a man down for over 5 minutes, were able to hold out without too much discomfort Tomo and Julie exerted a greater level of control with Chris Gilmore ever-willing and energetic too Lord Rainford and Colin the Late caught the eye in the different ways Gonzalo fired in an excellent drive for 5-1 but this was now a much closer contest and good to watch There was a comic ending to mark Chris Gilmore’s second goal with Grazer well beaten diving beyond the ball to end up at the far edge of his area looking back at the ball nestling in the net “He got down as soon as he could” someone offered Never a dull moment

Play continued from end to end with some neat touches and almighty blunders punctuating the session Glen clinched a debut hat trick after some Pink defensive dithering Grav made it 6-3 Black finishing back on top

Mentions to Kirsty and Haggis who both made excellent contributions to the game Gonzalo added a late 4th goal to seal a 7-3 victory

Disappointment met our heroes as they decamped to the sumptuous surroundings of the Slipper Salon No cake, save an offering from Ruskin that was available from the new chilled food displays at a very reasonable £2.50 per slice We really must do better next time

A downturn in the weather conditions rendered our planned outdoor session at the Sutton SoccerDome redundant for midweek purposes The availability of midweek Premier Division football on Streaming services also was another factor perhaps? Either way an early decision was made to drop the outdoor session thus leaving 15 hardy souls to battle heat stroke in the environs of Sutton’s Sports Hall

Sadly no photos of the event were deemed suitable for sensitive stay at homes but the teams were lined up;

Red - Chris 4G, Ian Hilton, Haggis, Gonzalo and Phil the Power

Yellow - Steve Carine, Tom Stretch, Lord Rainford, Jeff Betty and Grav

In the opening minute Steve Carine struck gold for Yellow with typical finish but Red found a rapid response with Gonzalo on target 1-1 and just 3 minutes gone Haggis was just wide with a superb effort Some terrific play by both teams with chances at both ends Red were patient and passed with greater accuracy but the game remained finely balanced and ended locked at 1-1

Yellow faced Blue in Game 2 with El Presidente putting down an early marker with instructions to slow it down Walking Footballers not unlike the traditional type do say the most ridiculous thing at times Time wasting Ref? offered one player, only to be told firmly that it was his own player who was wasting time

The game was lit up in a controversial manner with a long distance strike (conjured up possibly in Athens?) instinctively bundled into his own net by the unfortunate Grav Had he left the ball to hit the net the goal would have been ruled out as the Spiro strike was from outside the Red Zone Yellow played with great spirit to level but had little luck in sight of goal Tom Stretch then produced an amazing pass that disected two defenders leaving Grav to score 1-1 and a much deserved draw

Game Three featured Red and Blue In the opening exchanges Simon demonstrated his patented power walk to fire home 1-0 Blue ahead Within a minute Gonzalo reacted fastest to poke home for 1-1 Red back on level terms El Presidente issued further warnings to attempt to slow play to a gallop Play now cagey with neither side really on top though Red shaded possession going into the last minute Inevitably the game hinged on a snap shot fired home by Gonzalo 2-1 to Red with no time for Blue to manage more than the restart

In Game Four Red played Yellow with Phil the Power almost snatching the lead with a deft back heel that rolled agonisingly wide with the keeper rooted to his line Yellow were held deep in their own half by the high Red press Ian Hilton opened the scoring with a smart shot from the edge of the area Lord Rainford, as defensive king pin led a fruitless protest for encroachment, El Presidente unmoved by the protestations 1-0 to Red The game remained tight though Red coped comfortably with all Yellow threats to claim a narrow win

Yellow then faced Blue in the penultimate game There was an early repeat of the Greek interpretation of walking (or running as it translates) with stern words offered to return the action to acceptable pace Patience exhausted with a Blue Card issued after the latest infraction In truth the Blue Card might easily been Red with a stream of petulance that other Referees might not have forgiven Steve Carine pounced to crash in the first goal Yellow having taken full advantage of their numeric advantage 1-0 Yellow The game ended with another Carine effort that was battered away Lord Rainford intercepted a crashing volley using his face to divert the effort Thankfully there was no damage inflicted and his modelling career could continue unabated That ended the contest Blue paying a high price for failing to control their temperamental import, who needs to stem his obvious enthusiasm and think of letting down his team mates

There was a short game to wrap up the session with Red facing Blue The opening goal was claimed by Simon for Blue with the Red defence for once split wide open There was a bizarre corner routine royally messed up by Red with the ball passed back and out of play at the other end for a Blue corner Red generally established a hold on play but struggled to find a way through to goal Despite the pressure time was up with Blue holding out for a 1-0 win that summed a curious night’s play

The Boot Room media duties were difficult for El Presidente with a row of Arsenal players blocking free access to the Bar area and indeed everywhere else

The Huyton Hitman was unmoved, rooted to his Prime seat in the Shearer Stand Shades of Collymore were briefly invoked before he settled for a pint and a point

Little was heard from Lord Rainford, who was receiving emergency treatment from his footman and two valets Whether he was fearful of the possibility of a Brighton induced nosebleed or his earlier defensive bravery we will never know

Wickie sends Christmas Greetings to all fellow members from Cambodia, with a photograph taken on an allotment in Parr At least he was wearing his Club colours