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Writer's pictureSt Helens Walking Football

Helping Hand*

Updated: 3 days ago

Walking Football is possibly the finest example of a team game known throughout the WA post code areas SHWFC members appreciate that their Monday mornings just wouldn’t be the same without the other forty or so like-minded people to play with and against This week’s opening affair started brightly with players obligingly forming into colour coordinated groups ahead of an hour’s jolly japes


The teams selected were;

Purple - Chris K, Michelle Monday, Wickie, Donal, Cockney Rebel and Colin the Late


Sky - Phil the Cat, Aldo, Eileen, Roger, Steve Honeyman, Eamon and Les H


Pink - Jim, Tony W, Mika, Brian, Margaret, Enoch and Spiro


Orange - Andy Man, Glen, Citeh Geoff, Ashy, Tomo, Barry Wizz and Grav


Yellow - McSpeed, Lord Rainford, Sheila, Grazer, Haggis, Triallist and Tom Stretch


Black, Les Meldrew, Snakehips, Tom Derby, Kirsty, Roy and Amazon


There was the definitive instance of Cooks and Broth that determined Orange and Pink would play each other for the full session The other teams prepared for their usual Round Robin in blissful ignorance that Orange and Pink would be In splendid isolation on the far end pitch The breakaway isolationists would fall under the watchful gaze of Phil the Power complete with whistle, notebook and writing instrument as Referee

His task was all the easier as the teams played with calm assurance in an air of tolerance and sportsmanship Orange claimed the inaugural win in the first of three segments Goals by Barry, fairly wizzing across the newly repaired AstroTurf, and a brace by Glen (just one ‘n’ this week) shaded proceedings 3-0 At this point an adjustment to the line ups was made with Margaret and Andy Man switching for the remaining time

Pink blossomed with the new line up and thanks to goals by Spiro and Tony W closed to within a goal of the zesty Orange 3-2 and all to play for in the closing stanza Imevitably with everything at stake there was a tense ending with lots of chances created but no further goals to trouble Phil’s powers of recall After 55 minutes pulsating play it ended 3-2 at the pitch beyond, or Outer Limits as it has never been called


Elsewhere the Round Robin group faced off with a meagre ration of goals throughout the six games played Head Judge Shirley (surely not?) or Jeff Betty (as he’s better known) ran his beady eye over the Sky against Purple in the opening game The result was a victory for Purple with Colin the Late Williams finding the net, before Aldo struck back for Sky to level The deciding goal was an unfortunate own goal that handed Purple a win they just about deserved 2-1 the final margin

In their next match Purple claimed the honours in another tight encounter Black undone by a great goal scored by the quietly efficient Donal, back in good form after a recent extended break Black with an impressive line up couldn’t quite match the Purple bruisers who were to end the morning as top dogs


In the final match in the shadow of the popular stand Sky proved a little too strong for Black Another match settled by the odd goal in three goal feast Eamon and Les Hewitt settled the outcome, with the ever-green Snakehips hitting a glorious strike in consolation 2-1 Sky finishing a touch too much


Black and Yellow started their Round Robin journey with El Presidente looking on to pass judgment where needed Plenty of good passing to admire but also a tendency hold onto the ball too long to deny team mates the opportunity to contribute more to the game The lack of encouragement was another unwelcome feature that marred some aspects of the game We all can be guilty of being wrapped up in our own battles and overlook team mates better placed or with time to help out The game was a tight affair with Black on top for most of the match Yellow absorbed the pressure but were wasteful with their few chances to breakout McSpeed always a threat went close but was thwarted by an outstretched Meldrew limb Roy and Tom Derby went close before Tom Derby netted 1-0 to Black After 10 minutes Yellow were boosted by the late arrival of Tom Stretch His addition gave a huge boost to Yellow’s competitiveness

Yellow with a greater share of play wasted a couple of decent chances but time elapsed Black holding on to their narrow 1-0 advantage

Yellow and Sky served up another close game Sky worked hard to create openings but were wasteful or unable to beat an inspired Grazer Aldo was industrious for Sky and linked well with Phil the Cat, revelling in a wide left wing outing Eventually the Yellow midfield gave away cheap possession to gift The Cat a chance he didn’t waste 1-0 to Sky Tom Stretch urged his team forward to find a leveller Eileen and Les H stood firm, aided by Roger A late intervention by Haggis drew Yellow on terms with a shot from wide flying beyond the Sky keeper 1-1 at the death


Purple faced Yellow in the final game with Cockney Rebel playing his final game before a month’s warm weather training He marked the occasion in fine form including a towering header before he legitimately scored with a smart finish after almost 10 minutes Rainford was close to an equaliser but lacked the requisite power (not something you write everyday) Yellow raised their collective work rate to pose a bigger threat but were wasteful Cockney Rebel doubled the Purple lead Yellow giving the ball away in the most dangerous area 2-0 The Coup de Grace? Lord Rainford had other ideas and lashed a toe ender into the bottom corner to revitalise Yellow 2-1 but time almost up Tom Stretch pinged a shot home for the equaliser only for El Presidente to rule the score out as time had elapsed 2-1 the final score in a finish that was way more dramatic than the rest of the game


The morning served up some very close matches with flashes of team brilliance but occasion wastefulness too The most efficient way to progress up the field is to pass and move as a unit Three touch effectively nullifies the individual who wants to turn and dribble As good as any individual might be, an effective defender can jockey the best players into positions where they run out of touches or options There was a little too much reliance on self and a failure to improve the less technically gifted by simple pass and return Praise and encouragement improves team play more effectively than a sharp word or discouraging groan


Wednesday’s Sutton SoccerDome session was a well attended affair with 32 protagonists split in the usual way A five a side love-in behind closed doors plus two games outdoors on the AstroTurf tundra One game was six a side the other five a side


The indoor carpet slipper brigade lined up as follows;

Yellow - Steve Honeyman, Les H, Phil the Cat, Triallist and Joe the Ghost

Black/Red & Blue (not Yellow then) - Grav, Lee Thomo, Les Meldrew, Citeh Geoff and Steve Carine


Under the stewardship of El Presidente Yellow took a surprise lead, thanks to a Joe the Ghost poaching mission, only to find themselves 5-2 down at the first interval Goals by Steve Carine 2, Meldrew, Grav and Lee Thomo (returning from recent injury knack) Yellow were often wayward with their passing, at other times suicidal gifting possession to their opponents in dangerous positions Yellow were ill disciplined positionally Steve Honeyman did find a good reply but his side lacked the cohesion needed to turn the deficit around


The second period was sluggish to regain their fluidity Consequently the next score took fully three minutes to register, Carine turning from wide on the left to smash a ball into the far corner 6-2 Yellow’s passing was too heavy or too hurried at times, meaning they were constantly working off scraps of possesssion A seventh goal was all about persistence 7-2 Steve C battling to regain possession to give himself a chance to shoot Yellow found a period of dogged determination to restrict Black Their cause was aided by an unfortunate impact of ball to the Meldrew Family Jewels, Les having to firstly recover, then sit out for a couple of minutes before bravely taking the keeper’s position The action now around the Black area ensured that time elapsed with no further goals 7-2


The climax of the night was largely a re-run of the early action Black on top playing with a better shape and purpose Steve Carine was on target again for 8-2 Phil the Cat did find the net to make it 8-3 as Yellow rallied Both sides visibly tiring were intent on closing out the game, keeper’s holding on to the ball for as long as possible Steve C seized on another Yellow mistake for the ninth The game ended in a scrappy mess, with mistakes littering the dying period Carine with another goal for 10-3 another gift The final whistle came as a welcomed relief Hand shakes all round


Meanwhile in the wastes of the frozen great outdoors Jeff Betty refereed Red and Yellow in their private little five v five The game was another goal fest with 13 goals to warm the cockles Ian Hilton with 4 and Eamon with a hat trick plus a Deano special saw Yellow to an eight v five victory Red relied on hat trick from Steve Smith plus singletons by Chris 4G and Disco Deggsy (the Huyton hitman- who writes this?) to keep the score line respectable With no markers to aid the players or referee the game remarkably presented no problem for our seasoned man in the middle


Phil the Power looked after the other match with a really close encounter shaded by the odd goal in a 15 (count them) goal thriller Blue pipping Orange at the post Blue raced 4-2 ahead in the first half The goal scorers were Blue 8 - Gonzalo 5, Darron 2 and Haggis (another gem) Orange scorers were Jim with a hat trick, Gaz, Peter T and Simon 2

The game included a couple of penalties for good measure and went down the wire though


Blue might have scored another at the death with Gonzalo holding off Simon to poke home at the near post to make it 9-7 but Phil the Power channelled his inner Clive Thomas and blew up before the ball hit the back of the net.




The outdoor squads were;

Blue - Haggis, Roger, Darron, Gonzalo, Andy Man and Benno


Orange - Robin, Simon, Jim, Peter T, Gaz and Tom Stretch


Yellow, Deano, Ian Hilton, Eileen, Eamon and Nigel


Red - Graham, Subbuteo’s Dave, Deggs, Chris 4G and Steve Smith


A good time was had by all apart from Sutton net menders who have another week’s hard graft ahead to repair the damage


Helping Hand* - Pentangle (British folkies that’s been around in various guises since the sixties Light Flight probably their most successful tune - we do like to try to offer a balance for your listening pleasure)






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