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I Can’t Stand The Rain*

Having weathered two wet sessions last week Monday morning’s deluge was shrugged off with customary vigour Ruskin Sports Village was swamped to the extent that there was standing water formed on the Bowling Green, but thankfully the AstroTurf was pristine There was a very healthy turnout to celebrate the last day of September Thirty plus players plus Referee Jeff Betty, was assisted on the adjacent pitch by Wor’ Eileen Co-opted in to lend a much appreciated helping hand


The Teams were;


Lemon (no longer Yellow or even Green) - Aldo, Phil the Power, Phil the Moss, Mark Dav, Haggis and Michelle Monday


Orange - Les H, Les Meldrew, Gonzalo, Triallist, Wickie, Kirsty and camera shy El Presidente (never thought I’d write that)


Pink - Tom Stretch, Chopper, Julie, Roger, Eamon and Lord Rainford


Sky - Sheila, Steve J, Cockney Rebel, Brian, Citeh Geoff and Mika


Games were close with excellent application, teamwork and sportsmanship as normal Conditions were testing with non-stop rain, a constant throughout the whole day

In the first round of games The Citrus Derby was a close affair with Orange taking the honours in a pulsating match A Gonzalo goal meant Orange pipped Lemon, whilst in the opening fixture featuring Sky and Red another close encounter ensued


Sky claimed the win with Cockney Rebel and Brian on the mark Lord Rainford’s trusty Sussex Sweep finding the corner of the net in reply 2-1 as Sky reached for the er….Sky


In Round Two Orange overcame a tough test thanks goals by Gonzalo and Les Hewitt Both defences stood firm but Orange rode their luck to hang on 2-0 Lemon shaded Red thanks to a Phil strike Goals were proving elusive all round


The final Round produced a cracker with Orange, despite peppering the Red goal bringing a string of fine saves by Tom Stretch (who else could have reached some of the efforts) In a rare breakaway Julie produced a perfect pass for Eamon (playing on the keeper’s toes) to steer into the net Red defied the odds to holdout for the 1-0 victory Elsewhere Sky and Lemon was an equally impressive game Aldo and Steve claimed a goal each as the game ebbed from end to end The resulting 1-1 draw was fair reward for the display enjoyed by Ref Eileen, who later remarked she hardly needed to use the whistle in the match


Following a welcome shower and change of clothing talk in the Slipper Salon centred on the lack of cake Heads will surely roll

Later in the day we learned that Tom Derbyshire had become a Grandad with the arrival of Sofia Congratulations from all your friends at SHWFC


Our midweek session was the re-introduction of ‘winter’ though the weather told a different story The Sutton SoccerDome was resplendent a fitting tribute to the sides assembled


White - Jason, Benno (debutant Peter Bennett), Simon, Mark, Little John, Ian (another debutant Ian Hilton) and Will


Lemon - Graham, Eamon, Tabo (another debutant Tabo Huntley), Peter Teeling, Haggis and Deano


The game was a tour de force with excellent football and sportsmanship all round Within 15 minutes Benno hobbled off with a calf injury that seems too often to afflict new players We do try to warm up prior to the off but sometimes the rigours of the game can catch out a newbie


The final score was 7-5 to White (Mark, Simon and Jason each with two plus a Little John special) Haggis claimed another goal to his recent haul for Lemon Eamon claimed the match ball (and pump) with four - we are assured he didn’t like to talk about t don’t hold me to that!


The indoor portion of the night was somewhat spoiled by a rare lack of numbers Nine players however did show up Their reward was to play against a bin A tradition that goes back to Roman times Five Red - Les Meldrew, Citeh Geoff, Enoch, Cockney Rebel and Lord Rainford were pitched against a crack Blue outfit that included our long term Triallist (in a rare Wednesday outing) Wickie, Michelle Midweek, Andy Man and confusingly Red Bin

As usual we have looked to include photographic evidence of the line ups but the Blue team instead is depicted as a ‘hand selfie’


The Bin was brought in to play as a substitute keeper Red with their extra player could only score by hitting the Bin (harder than it sounds) The wizard prang worked a treat with Blue prevailing by 4 goals to 1 Blue defended resolutely blocking and forcing their opponents to snatch at chances Cockney Rebel did claim a Red goal but Andy Man, Wickie and Triallist were on target whilst Michelle hit another target altogether with a shot that left Lord Rainford counting his blessings (and family jewels)


As usual those who were there to experience the occasion had a great night It’s a reminder that Walking Football is all about fun and enjoying a laugh with like minded people

The Bin has since been called up to Lee Carsley’s England Squad, whilst our Executive reminded the FA that Bin is a contracted player with image rights protected and a healthy bonus scheme based on appearances


I Can’t Stand The Rain* - Ann Peebles




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