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Writer's pictureSt Helens Walking Football

It’s A Sin* (bin nearly)

Updated: Sep 4, 2023


Our lead referee Jeff Betty had to be on his toes this Wednesday with his fingers twitching over his blue card in a gunslinger stylee on a couple of occasions. However, I am glad to report that the quality of his mercy was not strained (see Shakespeare). So, Michelle’s “feisty” challenges and Gaz’s unorthodox motivations (?) towards his teammates escaped further sanction.

 

Jeff took charge on the middle pitch as, with holidays, injuries sustained on the cake aisle at Morrisons (Parr, T) and other untimely events, we were down to four teams of 7. Lord Rainford reffed on the changing room side pitch, his heroics the previous week having severely curtailed (even more than usual) his ability to effectively swing his spoon and nurdle his niblick the day after at Sherdley Park.


Blues started off with a 2-0 win over Green with hot-shot Eamon claiming both goals, one a penalty when the Eagle eye of referee Jeff had spotted Phil the Power encroaching into his own area.

 

Meanwhile on the top pitch White clinically dismantled Red 3-0, El Presidente still easing himself back into playing after several months on the sidelines after his knee-op. The lack of power in those once thunderous thighs a determining factor the Dictator muttered afterwards in the Boot Room media duties Another SHWFC hotshot, Chris 10P, claimed 2, with Kenny getting the other.

 

Talking of returns after long absences, Paul Porter marked his return in game 2 on the top pitch with a goal as White continued their run with a 5 1 win over Green. Barry probably got the goal of the night with a fierce shot from distance in the corner and the other scorers were – you guessed - it Chris 10P and Kenny. But plaudits to Green who fought hard all game, none harder than Haggis with some fine blocks in goals using numerous body parts. They were rewarded with a fine consolation goal; a real team effort finished off with a pass from Phil the Power to Simon.

 

Meanwhile on t’other pitch Blue also continued their winning streak, with Eamon again getting both goals over Red.

 

And so, to the final games. Purely by happenstance the two winners from the previous games, White and Blue met on the top pitch to see who would get boasting rights, while in the repechage Green faced Red In that game Red finally got their first win, overcoming a wilting Green 3-0 with Gaz and Joe (2) scoring A much better team effort for the previously miss firing Red. All of Green’s results didn’t tell the whole story, some good play; but couldn’t score.

 

And so, to the final shoot out. Blue v White On reflection the two strongest teams, but it isn’t always easy but to see that when you are frantically dishing out shirts at gone 7pm and knowing that any more dithering is going to eat further into playing time.

 

The game lived up to its billing with some good and quick (sometimes too quick according to referee) play; but given some of the err…. forceful……. personalities on both sides, played in a good and sporting manner. The key moment came when Simon, in control of the ball in his own half let ‘ “I do not” wait upon “I would” ’ (Shakespeare again) losing possession; letting Kenny in for the only goal of the game. It was nip and tuck for the rest of the match, but Blue could not find a way past goalkeeper Neil, leaving White unbeaten after another enjoyable nights walking football.

 

It's A Sin* - The Pet Shop Boys (novelty act with somehow a string of hits)


Team photos

Red: Cockney Rebel, Tom Derby, Gaz. Nige, El Presidente, Joe the Ghost and Disco Deggs


Blue: Simon, coach Neil, Andy Man, Michelle Wednesday, Wickie, Darron and Shamus O’Hoolihan


Greens: Martin Mc, Phil the Power, Haggis, Tony ‘Snakehips’, Simon, Dave M and Les Meldrew


White: Harry the Hatchet, Barry, Chris 10P, Kenny, Chris 4G, Deano and Paul Porter



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