As Members were paying up, warming up and looking forward to their regular Ruskin Sports Village session on Monday morning, three of our heroes were undergoing indoctrination at leafy Cheshire FA Headquarters
Eamon, Jeff Betty and El Presidente were guided through a day’s training to become trainee FA Qualified Walking Football Referees The Club decided to put its money where its mouth was and invested in training our first batch of Referees with an informative day at Northwich under the guidance of FA WF Referee Developer Mick Hill, and Cheshire FA’s Ryan Bostock The event was a mixture of Group discussions, lectures and demonstrations before a period outside with practical match applied exercises to assess candidate progress Happily our heroes emerged wiser and enthused ready to officiate with a full grasp of the Laws Of The Game
We remain committed to offer further investment opportunities for others to Referee as other courses become available Attendees will be expected to offer their services during sessions as a Return on Investment
The Ruskin session got underway with the usual selection jigsaw problems, Team Orange were last to be settled and missed the chance to photograph their constituents as a consequence - at least you know who you are The other teams were;
Yellow - Michelle Monday, Sheila, Tom Stretch, Barry Wizz, Lord Rainford and Little John
Black - Citeh Geoff, Wickie, Julie, Margaret, Chopper ( looking ever more like Mr Mole) and Grav (with comedy odd socks)
Sky - Les H, Kirsty, Donal, Tony W, Triallist and Phil the Cat
Purple - Andy Man, Glen, Les Meldrew, Tomo and Robin
Pink - Amazon Prime, Ashy, Steve Jones, Eileen, Haggis and Enoch
Orange - Roger, Triallist (dual registered?) Phil the Moss, Phil the Power and McSpeed
With our sometime Cub reporter enjoying a playing spell in the Yellow ‘Ave It’ role, the full details of games played is somewhat sketchy Our Social Secretary did valiantly attempt to compile some notes to aid the Blog Editor but struggled to transcribe his notes from his normal rhyming slang to something approaching English
On Pitch A nearest the stand Pink and Purple served up a real treat, with a 3-3 draw to set the pulses racing A very even game as the score suggests Tomo struck early for Purple before Amazon Prime found the net from the penalty spot 1-1 honours even Amazon went on to claim a hat trick for Pink, Tomo a brace for Purple with Glen also on target 3-3 Epic score for the on-lookers
Time for Mr Rebel to take in his next game Orange and Sky was a real goal fest with Sky running riot once after our reporter had moved on Arriving with the score 1-1 there was a real tempo to the game, 3 players had to be reminded ‘that’s not walking’ When he left the score was finely balanced 5-4 in favour of Sky The possibility that the absense of a Ref and on-looking reporter might have seen a return to running is a pure speculation The final score Sky 9- 4 winners
Goal scorers Orange McSpeed with all 4 Sky Phil the Moss 3, Donal 3, Les H, Tony W and Kirsty
Meanwhile at the Far End Black were overwhelmed by Yellow 4-1 Michelle Monday hit a hat trick plus there was a solitary strike for Lord Rainford (whether a Sussex Sweep) or more routine goal is unclear Grav claimed the Black consolation There was a little confusion regarding passes to and from the keeper But that’s simple to resolve once our trio of thoroughly trained Men In Black re-join our sessions
Post match cake was supplied by Colin the Late Williams, served again in the Slipper Salon annexe The Pram Posse do now seem to have become a Monday lunchtime ‘thing’ A good session played in a good spirit of sportsmanship
Midweek at the Sutton SoccerDome was marked by a lusty number of members making their first Wednesday appearance of 2025 In addition to returnees there were two new members a long to see at first hand just what the fuss is about
Two games outside on the AstroTurf tundra and the usual carpet slipper sports hall game to whet appetites
The Indoor session was played against the background of last week’s bore fest, described by one of brethren as “piss poor” The anthem ‘Things Can Only Get Better’ wasn’t belting from the adjacent area, but it would have been a very fitting start The teams selected for an excellent game were;
Green - Chris 4G, Les Meldrew, Phil the Power, debutant Michelle Fazakerly or 3 as she is now known and Grav
Blue -Disco Deggs (still struggling to hide that hideous badge), Lord Rainford, Joe the Ghost, Triallist and Citeh Geoff
Play was rather more measured and careful than last week The ball was cherished and protected by more cohesive team play Crisp passing and support movement ensured the game was a good contest All 5 Green players were on the score sheet Michelle claimed her first goal with a well directed penalty after Joe’s ghostly presence was found outside his goal area Les decided to even things up with an incursion into his own area That two man comedy team Deggs & Joe then quibbled about who should take the resultant penalty, in the end Joe took responsibility (big mistake) and wasted the chance
Joe did hit the net twice, Triallist and Deggs were the Blue scorers with Grav, Phil and Michelle replying for Green After a nip and tuck session Blue claimed a narrow 4-3 victory
Outside there were two games and a deluge of goals as two fast and furious contests (a 5 a side game plus a 6 a side match) Ref Jeff Betty introduced a few of his newly acquired dark arts to keep the game honest
The teams were;
White - Tom Derby, Ian Hilton, Graham, Jason and Martin Mc
Blue - Deano, Simon, Midweek Michelle, Gaz and Steve Carine
Blue dominated the score line with a strong opening half and roared into a 4-0 lead, which prompted some tinkering of the line ups to address the apparent inbalance Goals by Deano plus braces from Midweek Michelle, Gaz and Steve Carine ensured the victory The remedial measures did seem to work as the play after was a 3-3 draw But that early 4-0 inbalance ensured Blue won 7-3 Tom Derby, Jason and Ian were the great White hopes Ian’s goal was a thing of beauty Receiving the ball with his back to goal his smart turn shook off the Blue defenders & keeper to leave him free to slot into the corner Enjoyable game played in a very sporting spirit
El Presidente was impressed with the outstanding passing on display when Red faced Yellow in the last game of the week Red were especially impressive with some slick inter-changes a feature of their approach Andy Holland scored the first on a most impressive debut
Teams were;
Red - Les H, Andy Holland, Eamon, Eileen, Neil Stretch and Gonzalo
Yellow - Haggis, Tom Stretch, Mark Dav, Andy Man, Subbuteo Dave and Little John
Red were well organised and motivated and were 4-0 ahead before half time with Gonzalo punishing a vacant Yellow defence The shot was so fierce that it hit and bent our new Club plaque that was resting on the side netting Andy Holland soon claimed his second to make it 3-0 to Red
Serious consideration was given to making early switches to the line-ups as the dominant Reds looked likely to swamp their opponents The Yellow reply was limited to a snap shot by Grav and efforts from the ever-willing Dav
Eileen had a fine game showing some neat passes to go with her positional prowess Tom Stretch was just off target for Yellow Dav with better service increasingly causing Red some problems
Eamon conceded a penalty converted by Dav, his second in a short period Gonzalo hit back From 4-0 it was suddenly 6-3, goals flowing in a spell of errors by both teams Dav went on to claim all his side’s goals with 5 Not often a player can hit 5 and still be on the losing team His 4th was a peach hitting a shot with the outside of his right foot into the far left corner Eamon found space for Red’s 7th then Gonzalo picked off a loose keeper’s throw for the 8th Gonzalo rounded off the Red tidal wave with another smart finish 9-5 the final score Some great play, some less great defending but lots of laughs, smiles and great sportsmanship
The Boot Room media duties were shared with the distraction of a band of blind gentlemen who had arrived to view the Champions League game No further comment seems necessary
Men In Black* - Will Smith ( ripping off a classic Patrice Rushen sample)
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