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One Night Standards*

Writer's picture: St Helens Walking Football St Helens Walking Football

I ain’t gonna jump off the deep end …we all got secrets”These words from Country Music’s Ashley McBryde song seem to suggest that we can exert little control and influence over our fate


Wednesday’s latest Sutton session would echo that sentiment You can spend days extolling the virtues of communication and urging people to let us know their playing intentions but on the night it’s left to pure chance, mood and the need for spontaneity Let’s not over-think


Let’s rock back and enjoy Expectations of good weather and a reasonable chance to play an hours Walking Football in the spirit of good sportsmanship must have permeated the collective in a major way as hordes descended on Sutton ready to play


Les Meldrew, Club Treasurer and arch-insider, quickly closed off with 18 scantily-clad fellow insiders Meanwhile not to be outdone 22 artic-attired outsiders traipsed to the AstroTurf ready for a brisk rub down with frozen twigs


So lest we forget that’s 40 players plus dynamic refereeing duo Chopper and El Presidente, quite a turn-out for a February night by any reckoning The Insiders were deposited (Les ever the eye on the bottom line) in the following teams;


White - Enoch, Ray, Les, Gonzalo, Robbie and Doylie



Yellow - Wickie, Grav’, Andy Man(anger), Joe the Ghost, Lee Thomo’ and Kirsty (2nd game of the week)


Red - Cockney Rebel, Steve Carine (nickname overdue), Laura, Steve Honeyman, Dave Bates and Neil Coach


Such was the intensity of the searing heat generated in their games that most succumbed to heat exhaustion and no goal records were kept Laura continued her impressive form but for once didn’t register a goal Gonzalo did try to talk El Presidente through his goals (so nothing new there) but lost count


Suffice it to say the indoor session was most enjoyable and we’ve at least got the team photos to prove it The outdoor session was an eleven-a-side affair but refereed with an iron-fist by local despot El Pres’


The inevitable temptation to allow ‘soccer’ rules to become the standard was quickly and firmly over-ruled A furry of early interventions by the whistle happy official soon persuaded the horde that despite the numbers this was going to be a Walking Football contest


For the record those selected were;


Blues - Ralph Abbot (Russ?), Lord Rainford, Willo, Martin Mc, Neil Simms, Chris Kelsall, Gaz, Deggs, Tom Stretch, Little John and Darron


Orange - Deano, Chris 4G, Eamon, Thatto Dave, Dave Gray, Mike Ox, Michelle, Haggis, Jeff Betty, Tom Derby and debutant Paul (Rod) Steiger



The night started with the newbies trying to adjust to this strange game, often over-elaborating or over-zealously chasing lost causes Ralph took a time to find his way, Rod content to play a simpler way into the action


But it was one of our old boys then that made the first impact with Deggs creating a couple of chances the second one of these tucked home by Darron 1-0 to Blue


Orange had a decent spell of possession but with Haggis wide left perhaps too distant to score Mike Ox, Eamon and Rod threaded some good passes together but couldn’t impose themselves on the Blue rearguard Deano was a little deep and Blue’s defence with Gaz, Lord Rainford, Willo and Neil Simms well-organised, were able to hold out


Orange indulged in a succession of wayward passes trying to force the game Darron added his second goal swooping to pick off a parried Deggs shot to poke the ball past Chris 4G 2-0 to Blue


Orange had plenty of possession but lacked a decisive cutting edge Blues in contrast were clinical in front of goal A Monday visitor, Robin, was impressed with the pace and power of the game overall


Efforts from Eamon, Mike Ox, Thatto Dave and Deano were blocked by the Orange rearguard There was a succession of over head free kicks conceded but mostly for shots safely blocked by Orange


As Orange sensed a pre-half time breakthrough it was a breakaway goal by the irrepressible Deggs that finally rocked Orange 3-0 at the break but a score line that was unreflective of the game as a whole Blues clinical


Orange resourceful but unable to hit the netThe second half underway Orange enjoyed their best passage of the game with a dominant midfield working hardest to find a way back As is too often the case in games of this nature Orange, pressing for a goal that their play deserved, left gaps in the defence and were picked off by the efficient counter attacking threat of Blue


Deggs burst through and steered his effort through the keeper and the net to make it 4-0 El Presidente hadn’t spotted the yawning hole in the net and at first failed to award the gaol but was quickly corrected by the Orange defenders sportingly declaring that it was indeed a legitimate score 4-0 and effectively game over


The final goal scored by the impressive Chris Kelsall (nick name required please) merely cemented the victory In truth it was never a 5-0 game, much closer and competitive throughout But goals don’t lie so kudos to the Blue in their shiny new bibs and commiserations to Orange Pipped at the post?


Hardly but in their defence they never wilted Hand shakes and smiles all round and isn’t that all that really matters?


One Night Standards* - Ashley McBryde


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